WHOA lansi

This week, write a “State of Me” address. Write about how you’re really doing- what you’ve been thinking, what you’ve been up to. What have you accomplished lately? Where is there room for growth? Where are you right now in life and where are you headed? Current joys, currents sadness…write it all out. Discuss the current state of YOU. 

I had really good intentions to write this post a few days ago…& then I kind of just let it slide. That says a bit about the state of me lately, I suppose. I try to shy away from responding with “busy” when asked how things are. I am a generally busy person (& I like it that way), but so is everyone else. & although I think it’s a cop out response, I am guilty of responding with it. Maybe that’s why I dislike it. Whatever. Let’s get back to the point.

I’m usually busy doing things I like &, more than likely, so are you. Currently, life feels particularly hectic. On top of wedding planning, I’m trying to get back into consistent workouts (I have unlimited CrossFit for the next month! Yes!), eating well, & maintaining some kind of social life. I slacked off a bit over the last couple months, so now that I’m getting back into some more healthy habits, it feels like a big undertaking. I’m sure things will level out in some ways, but we’ve also got a ton of plans for this entire summer. Between our wedding, wedding-related events, Stampede, & visits from friends, we are booked solid. I’m excited, albeit a little apprehensive.

We’re also full steam ahead with our honeymoon plans. Of course, by we, I mostly mean myself. Planning is totally my jam. I consult with N on any decisions, but the research is mostly me. I love it, but I definitely find myself getting lost in the internet sometimes. Hours can go by without my even realizing. I’m definitely one of those people who likes to weigh all the options before settling on one. Thankfully, the trip is 75% planned & booked, so there’s not a lot left to do except be excited!

This summer, I’ll need to learn to say no sometimes. As is, we have a lot planned & as much as I love going for drinks with our friends or enjoying a night out, I think I’m going to have to scale that back. I’m making CrossFit a priority this month, but I’m also trying not to spend every night in the gym. This box offers a few morning classes as well as lunch ones, so I’m going to try to take advantage of those when I can. It’s nice getting a workout in before the day starts.

We’re in an interesting place right now. Our wedding is less than two months away, which is a big symbolic change in who we are. We’ll see what other kind of changes it brings. September will certainly free up a lot of time for other endeavors, though. I’m looking forward to having the time to seriously look at houses, as one of our goals is to become homeowners. This crazy market should  make that an interesting challenge. Overall, we’re moving forward. In a lot of ways we know what we want, but we’ve also still got a lot of figuring out to do.

As for the state of me, personally? I’d say I’m pretty darn happy right now. There are so many things I’m excited for, not only in the next few months, but in the years to come as well. It’s the last year of my twenties & I plan to make it great. Things are never perfect – it really is the overall journey that puts this into perspective. (I know talking about the journey is so cliche. Bear with me.) There are always going to be highs & lows, but I can honestly say that it’s all generally good.  & for that I am incredibly grateful.

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This post is in response to Danielle’s prompt on her blog, Sometimes Sweet. Find the rest of my responses in this series here.

Let’s talk about love. Do you believe in the idea of a soulmate? Do you think there is one person for everyone- and do you think that no matter what, if you’re “supposed” to meet that person you will? This week, talk about your experience with love and discuss what you believe, and also be sure to touch on what helped shape those beliefs.

Photo by 3haus Photographics

The idea of a soulmate is both beautiful & tragic to me. On the one hand, the notion that you could find that one person, the yin to your yang, is quite lovely. That is, if you find that person & manage to hold on to them. Life likes to throw a wrench in beautiful, well thought out plans & losing your soulmate (or worse even , never finding them) is cruel if you only get the one. I like to believe that life isn’t quite that cruel.

By the same token, I do believe that N is the right person for me & I can’t imagine feeling this way about someone else (for the skeptics out there – yeah, I know everyone says that about their current relationship. Maybe we’re not all wrong?). Maybe it’s more of a choice. I don’t think I know the answer, & in all honesty, I’m not really sure I care to know.

What I do know for certain is that I love N. Sometimes that love is crazy & inexplicable. Sometimes it’s beautiful & unwavering. Sometimes I can’t keep it to myself while other times, it sits subtly under the surface. It’s in the every day as much as in those special moments, in the good as much as the bad. So whether I chose N or he chose me or it came from somewhere else entirely is irrelevant to me. I’ve chosen to be present in this relationship & in this love & to work at making it the best it can be.

These things are important to me – the working & being present. We recently met with our officiant & one comment he made really stuck with me because I’ve thought the same for a long time. We were talking about some of the significance behind different rituals at weddings & he said that like life, love has it’s ups & downs. It’s like a wave. Things will never stay tough for ever.

So while I do have many romantic (perhaps, naive) notions about love, I hope I keep these things in mind as we continue to grow & evolve together. Our relationship is still young (5 years, this Saturday. Happy Anniversary, N!), but I hope we continue to choose this love, soulmates or not.

I’ll leave you with my favourite quote about love:

“On ne voit bien qu’avec le coeur. L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.” (Antoine de St Exupery)

I’ve translated this as: “It is only with the heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.”

This post is in response to Danielle’s prompt on her blog, Sometimes Sweet. Find the rest of my responses in this series here.

Sometimes it can be hard to hear criticism from others. I know for me it’s something I may always struggle with- being a people pleaser, etc. At the same time though, constructive criticism can be very helpful, and allow us to look at ourselves in a new light and maybe even grow and change. Take a step out of yourself. If you were on the outside looking in, how would you critique yourself? What things do you see that could change or work on? This isn’t about tearing ourselves down; it’s about really looking at ourselves and seeing where there’s room for growth.

I think I’m a bit of a people pleaser myself, so hearing criticism isn’t something I’m a huge fan of either. I know that it has it’s place, but I truly hate to disappoint people. While I thought sharing what I was good at was hard, it’s just as difficult to put my shortcomings out there, despite it being easier to think of areas where I fall short. These last two prompts are more alike than different in some ways.

Quite simply, what are you good at? All of us have particular strengths- what are yours? This week, talk about these talents, big or small. Ideas: discuss how you use these things in your daily life or job, how you discovered a knack for this or that, perhaps even touch on whether or not you are passionate about the things you’re good at.

Photo credit to KG

The first thing that came to mind when I saw this prompt this week was swimming. I am undeniably better than the average person at swimming. For a long time I used that as an excuse for why I wasn’t great at other sports. Swimmers have a reputation for being awkward outside of the water. While this isn’t exactly true, I fell back on it from time to time. & it’s nice to have something that you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you’re good at, especially when you’re younger. (It probably sounds weird coming from someone who runs half marathons & organizes Fitness Friday at work, but I’ve never considered myself very good at other sports. I don’t think I’m bad at them – I just don’t think I’m really good at them either. I do them because I enjoy being outside & I’m extremely competitive.)

How would you say your upbringing or background has shaped your idea of beauty? Were you taught to apply makeup or do you hair by your mother or friends? If not, where did you observe what is now your norm as far as beauty practices? And although most of us have been inundated by different cultural beauty “norms” via the media, would you say that television and magazines have had a strong impact on shaping what you think of as beautiful? This week, write about your idea of beauty- how your background has shaped it and what that means for you today.

Your upbringing certainly shapes much of how you view the world – your perception of beauty included. My family was mostly blessed with good genes & my mother has never needed to wear much makeup. I remember her always looking very put together, a feat she continues to achieve to this day. That didn’t necessarily mean a lot of makeup but it did mean dressing well & taking care in her appearance. She always told me it’s better to be too dressed up than to be too casual – & that’s something I find myself believing now, as an adult.

Would you consider yourself a religious person? Quite simply- what do you believe happens when you die? Have you always believed this? Do your current beliefs align with what you were taught as a child? And if not, what was the turning point? This week, talk about your religion or spiritual beliefs (or perhaps your lack of), and try to sum up, if you can, what you believe happens “next.”

Religion. Oh boy. I wasn’t going to post a response when I first saw this prompt. I’m always a little bit hesitant to discuss religion with anyone. While I’m not generally shy about my opinions, this is something I try to think twice about before offering my thoughts. Danielle posted this morning though & her response inspired me to write something. I’ve posted a Journal Day response every week so far & I think it’s silly to censor myself in regards to this. I know not everyone will agree with what I have to say. So as Danielle did, I will just preface this post with this disclaimer: I don’t mean to question your beliefs or lack thereof. Please do not take offense to what I have to say here – I don’t want to judge you & I hope you won’t pass judgement on me either.